this blog was written last year, after my dear kuya (older brother) rod passed away. i first published it in my multiply website. almost a year has passed, and i still miss him. and i will probably miss him all the days of my life....
He has known me all 36 years of my life. He saw the day I was born, my growing up years, and he’s one of the many people who truly cared and loved me. We have shared many memories, memories that I will forever keep and treasure. His remarkable traits have taught me a lot, just by his show of example.
He is very creative
I remember in 1980, he spear headed what would become our annual “themed” family reunions. He coined the name FAMILY POWER (6 years before the Philippines’ PEOPLE POWER), initially to refer to our annual family gathering, but more aptly to describe the enormous power each of the members of our clan emit whenever we unite in every activity, event, or situation. Tasks that needed to be accomplished, or any problem that needed a solution, family power would be there. Our first FAMILY POWER event was a costume party, with almost 80% of the costumes created by him, marvelously transforming scrap materials into a mermaid’s tail, a gladiator’s shield, or a head dress full of plastic fruits. His talent for singing, script-writing, and stage designing is a staple in every Family Power event. He would lead us into planning, and regardless of age, he would welcome the ideas of the young ones, encouraging us to participate in creating a fun-filled show for our clan to enjoy. His overflowing creative juices even propelled him into writing the meaningful lyrics of the “Family Power Song”.
He is everybody’s sweetheart
His ”very-fun-to-be-with” character made him a favorite companion by everyone. I mean EVERYONE. As far as I can remember, he was always our grandmother’s companion to church. They will visit San Roque church and he will patiently hold my grandmother in her arms and they will slowly walk around and pray and light a candle to each saint or statue around the church. In our clan, he was a popular (if not THE MOST POPULAR) person to every generation. He managed to be always there for everyone (for the grandparents, uncles, aunts, older cousins, relatives his age, down to the newborn infants). His uncanny ability to be always-there-for-you couldn’t be beat. He’s very easy to be reached. He’s the person to call if you needed company to go to Divisoria (a famous flea market/source of all supplies place in the heart of Manila, Philippines), or assistance in sprucing up your home (he could’ve been a terrific interior designer), or a restaurant buddy (he’s a food connoisseur, from Aling Simang’s to Spiral), or somebody to talk to (sensible to discuss anything under the sun), or a hand to hold in times of distress (even if his hands are trembling too, he would try very hard to put a strong front!). He was always there when I needed somebody to laugh or cry with. He was there in my childhood and teen years. He knows all my close friends and the guys I dated (well, not really, all, but maybe the guys that I went out with who deserved to be introduced to him). He was there helping me shop and decorate when I moved into my own house. He was very happy for me when I got married to Neil. He was there when I became a member of the Dead Dads Club. He was there praying with us when my mom underwent heart bypass, but unintentionally, I wasn’t physically there for him when his mom died because I was in the States. In spite of his busy schedules, he still was able to make his presence felt in my adult life. He would rejoice at all of my successes and adventures, and would always have a positive remark even at my low and sad points, especially at times when I needed it most.
He is equipped with a tremendous sense of humor
His amusing ways and witty one-liners complete with his animated antics would always result in guffaws, and his funny stories and jokes not only keeps us in stitches, but makes us pee in our pants. Everyone within earshot and viewing distance can die laughing. Seriously!
He is very loving and kind-hearted
He had so much love to give for everyone. Unconditional love at that. He sincerely sees the goodness in people. He was never a fault finder, rather he corrects mistakes constructively. I do not remember a time that he criticized me of any offense that I made either to him or to other people. He would imply that certain things were done wrong, and he will leave you with a better judgment to undo whatever error that you made. He will never impose. His tremendous capacity to love even the “not-so-lovable” is a hard feat to follow. But he has shown that it is possible, and that it can be done. And as I’ve said, I have learned so much by his show of example.
He is trustworthy and dependable
He knows almost all the secrets and problems of my own family. We have always trusted him with anything, from the mundane things to the very delicate and important. We could trust him with anything, be it money, valuables, or our loved ones, and we’re confident that he will protect and guard it with his life. He has always been somebody whom our family can depend on, and when he says he will do it, consider it done.
He is decent and respectable
I cannot end this blog without mentioning a bit about our love life. I consider myself one of the few (?) whom he has trusted with his romantic escapades and sexcapades. I, in turn, have shared with him a few, if not all, of mine (but cross my heart, I didn’t have any sexcapades to share). But let me just say that he is one person (aside from my doctor) who knows my ovaries (simply put, that’s how comfortable I am with him to discuss my reproductive health and seek advice even with my sex/married life). Though my love life is not at all colorful compared to his, I must say that the kind of relationship that he has is downright honest and true. He didn’t have to hide anything, but he didn’t have to tactlessly flaunt it too. Everything done in the realm of decency and propriety. He never asked for approval. He just needed acceptance and respect, rightfully so it was given to him. All because he was first to give it.
Fast forward to more years, we both got busy with our jobs, our own families, and me spending time outside the country, but we have managed to be in constant touch with each other. We have kept the bond that strongly bound us through the years. Lately as we grow older, and with our genes inevitably affecting our state of health, visiting doctor’s clinics and hospitals or free standing laboratories to undergo blood work have now been a regular “bonding” activity for us. We would discuss whatever we’re feeling, complain about certain ailments that we now have, and give advice to each other: from reminding each other in taking medicines, to taking time off to rest and re-charge from a hard day’s work.
July 21, 2008. Monday. Our usual exchange of text messages went this way:
11:16 am/G : Hi, kuya rod! Musta ka na?Naalala lng kta kc 1 week na me di nkkainom ng gamot sa HB, kya ayan, hinayblad yta ako kgabi, takot ako, prang mga ugat sa ulo, gumagalaw!
2:20 pm/R : Nasa lahi na natin ang HB, kaya dapat maintenance na, ako, 3 or 4 inom ko sa puso, hb at para veins, nagpa-2nd opinion nako and be back sa Dra. ko dis week at sana may gud result kaya inom na at ingat
2:25 pm/G : Ano yung para sa veins mo? Mukhang yan yata kelangan ko, kc nararamdaman ko, parang ung mga ugat ko nga sa ulo, prang gumagalaw La nman me pain whatsoever, pro weird lang. Dikya may katok lang ako sa utak? He he he! Nxt week pko balik sa doc, isasabay ko na lng lhat check-up ko. Kk-HB ang mga gastos!
2:37 pm/R : Captropil at vestan wag ka na kain masyado meat at more fluids or water dapat
2:50 pm/R : Pag nag-shower ka dapat head to foot na wag body lang para ang init di punta sa ulo, grabe mga gastusin, ang pinagwo-work ko yata para lang sa gamot ko, hayy
4:08 pm/G : More fluids ba dapat? Cge, thanks sa advice. Mejo stressed din cguro, work, etc. Nagre-relax relax nga ako, mas gusto ko gumastos pang relax kesa panggamot!
6:38/G : Kakainom ko lang ng gamot ko, dilahex 5 mg. Hopefully um-ok nako, ngyon pahinga nako. Asar talaga pag may nrrrmdman ka, no? Dami ko pang labahin!
7:33 pm/R : Palabhan mo na lang yang mga damit mo don’t exert much effort at nasa ugat yan ramdam mo. Ako parang hapo at mainit mga mata pag na ha hiblod
7:36 pm/R : Who told u about d gamut na dahilex?
7:37 pm/G : Dilahex? Bket? Si dra. Mendoza, ung cardiologist na pinuntahan ntin sa infant. Gamot mo din ba? Mas mura sya kesa lifezar 50 mg
7:38 pm/G: inaayos ko na (laundry) para dalhin sa laundry shop bukas. Mga underwear lang laba ko, pero tom na, babad ko lang ngyon. Gus2 ko ma2log ng maaga, kc dami ko gawa sa ofc. Haayyyy!
7:40/R : Okay, akala ko sabi lang sayo, rest ka na.
7:45/G : ayaw ko inom gamot basta basta ng di nagppdoctor.tapusin ko lang tong inaayos kong labada at magredi na me for bed.Thanks sa lhat ng advice mo at txts. Na-nyt!
I never knew that that will be our last exchange of text messages. I couldn’t believe it. It still is hard to believe. It doesn’t help because until now I refuse to. I just can’t bring myself to finally accept that I have lost one great person in my life. My dear Kuya Rody had a massive heart attack and got promoted to heaven that night. His “going home” has left a huge void in the lives of all the people that he has touched, a great loss to those who love him. And I am one of them. Without him, without his touch, things around here will never be the same again.
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